The Day The Deer Danced

For the mountain man” was the message written on the floral bouquet sent to the funeral home for my husband’s memorial service. Reflective of the love he had for the outdoors, the arrangement that his friends chose to send contained a deer figurine, driftwood and succulent plants.

Our love for Chris was reflected in the memories that were shared that day, the tears shed and the acts of kindness that family and friends surrounded me with on the worse day of my life. Being physically and mentally depleted after the long hours at the funeral home and the gathering at our house afterwards, I finally sat down to take a deep breath. Looking out the picture window at the brilliantly glistening snow that February day – I thought, “you are really loosing it Kath” when I saw deer right across the road, in the field beyond our house…dancing!!

blog images.jpg deer

I couldn’t describe it any other way, for I had seen deer gather in the fields before, feeding on the farmer’s leftover seed or running across the road narrowly escaping the city’s traffic. I had seen deer bedded down beneath pine trees in the fields behind our house.  This time the group of eight buck and does were frolicking, not frightened by the movement within our house, but coming closer as if looking in our windows, wanting us to “play.” Locking antlers not to fight for territory during mating season, but leaping, heads tossing side to side, front legs rearing up in what seemed an unlikely display of affection; trying to stay warm on a frigid day, a deer’s way of having fun?

For me there was one and only one explanation for the scene I was watching…it was Chris’ message to me (to us) that his playful spirit was still alive and that all was well.  Despite all my grief on that day, there would be unexpected joy, order would come out of the chaos, and “the day the deer danced” would always feel like a message from heaven given to us by the “mountain man.”

It has been a comfort to me and many others who have experienced the death of a loved one, to receive unique messages from them. Through electronics, nature or dreams, they leave messages for us that are often perceived by the bereaved as comforting and welcomed. Often not wanting to talk about these “visits” we keep quiet and worry that others will think we are crazy. When my husband died, I wanted to write my experience down and to share it with others. I have created a blog which will be a safe place to share our stories and to reflect on their messages! Here are a few questions you might want to contemplate as you think of your experience and share your comments.

  • In what way have you felt the presence of your loved one after their death (what is your story?)
  • Was this presence perceived as a physical, emotional or spiritual expression of them?
  • Did their “visit” make you feel uncomfortable in any way or did it bring you peace?
  • What was the message that you felt you received from this experience?
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3 Responses to The Day The Deer Danced

  1. mrsmunger says:

    What a beautiful, intimate message from Chris on one of the worst days of your life. Definitely a gift from God at the perfect time. And what a courageous, beautiful thing you have done by sharing this personal experience with others – thank you. I have had similar experiences in my life — receiving unexpected messages in various ways from deceased loved ones. I know how precious and unique each of those messages are, just like the people who are sending them. I am always amazed, sometimes amused, by how they oftentimes present themselves when my heart and soul are in need of something deep within that I just can’t seem to name or get a handle on or feel too fragile to deal with. These experiences fill me with a sense of peacefulness and sometimes a sense of playfulness that remind me my loved one is always with me and that I will one day meet up with them again on the other side.

    Thanks again for sharing your story and starting this blog about a difficult, complicated, varied and extremely personal topic–GRIEF (one size does not fit all). I hope others who read your blog will find some comfort and hope and will consider sharing some of their own experiences.

    • Greet Grief says:

      Thank you for your experience and encouraging others to share who have had “messages from beyond.” We often keep these visits to ourselves worried about others response to our stories. I am glad that you have felt peace from the messages of your loved ones especially during times of discernment!

  2. Kathrn Kwiatkowski says:

    It was the winter after I lost my dad. His passing was the first major death I faced in my life. I missed him immensely. I always felt like his “little girl”. I was living in Indiana at the time, and taking night classes in a small town 20 minutes from us. I went to class that night, knowing a storm was coming. We lived in a rural area, and getting to and from someplace meant driving on rural two lane highways, or back roads, or sometimes gravel roads! Which in turn meant roads blowing closed pretty fast. Class let out early. It was snowing bad. I started my drive home. By the time I was 5 minutes into it, I could hardly see in front of me. I could not see the middle line, but what was scarier was that I could not see where the side of the road ended and the ditches began. There was a semi truck in front of me for awhile, which was a blessing, but he soon left me behind. I was praying. I was praying hard. I prayed to Jesus and then, to my dad.
    My dad spent over 30 years on the Milwaukee Fire Dept. Most of those on the Rescue Squad, which is now the paramedics. He saw tragedy every day. He saw horrific auto accidents and he was always telling us to be careful as we drove. I now begged him to help me get home.
    Suddenly, a very wonderful and unexplainable feeling came over me. I actually “felt” him in the passenger seat next to me. I know that sounds really “out there” but it is the truth. My dad was driving with me and a complete calm came over me and I knew I would be totally ok, and I would make it home to my family. He stayed with me all the way home and I was safe. Then he was gone. Writing this now brings tears to my eyes. I wish I would feel him with me more often. But when I needed him, he was there for me, just like he always was in my life. It’s been 14 years since I lost him, but it feels like yesterday.
    I really believe the people who leave us, are still with us. We can’t always feel them, like I did with my dad, but I know he is always watching over me.

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